They are mocking me at school! They hate me, and I’m sure it will be all my life: at the university and in the future at work. I don’t understand why they treat me like that? What I did not please them? Or I have such an appearance that I annoy everyone?
Hello Olga. From your letter it is clear that you are in despair. You do not have a relationship with classmates and loved ones, you feel lonely and helpless. You do not know how to change
the situation, you do not understand what causes the rejection of others. You are scared that it will continue to be so, and you will never break out of this circle.
I do not know what exactly you are doing to cause the desire of classmates to offend you. I can assume that you had a lot of experience of rejection, humiliation and, possibly, physical or emotional violence in the family. Now you are embittered and do not trust anyone: neither children nor adults. But they would like. They would like to make friends who will support in difficult times. And they would like adults nearby who can protect, console and help cope.
Your distrust is understandable – if you were humiliated, now you are waiting for the same from everyone around. You are offended in advance to the whole world. Others feel it. They do not want to be friends with you, because, making contact, they immediately meet with your bitterness. They don’t know that you are just deeply injured. I would advise you to find at least one adult surrounded by at least one, with whom you can share pain, anger and resentment, and no longer wear them inside. Perhaps he will help to start looking at the world without waiting for an attack.